FOX dumb as rocks…

Megan fox is super hot. You know it, I know it, Shia LaBeouf knows it, and apparently know even the Night of the Living Dead castmates from her new movie Jennifer’s Body. She has been coined by many in the media community as the new Angelina Jolie. Pretty face – check, awesome body- check, intelligence and acting ability – not so much. Megan Fox is well known for her scantily clad perfect body, and her corpus of throwback tattoos (Marilyn’s face, and gasp! even a King Lear quote to name but a few), but what she is not known for is her superior intellect.  If you take a minute to listen to a Megan Fox interview, or even just skim over a couple of her most recent media statements, shes beginning to look more and more like a Palin clone than the heir to the Brangelina dynasty. She resents the medias comparison, claiming it demonstrates a “lack of creativity on the medias part”. Although usually pseudo “self-deprecating” about her in your face beauty – Megan avoids harping on her own beauty, chirping off witty quips like: “well I’m clearly not ugly…” Although she attempts at humility, she then makes bold claims such as: I require that all of my boyfriends have at least one tattoo, and if they don’t have one yet, I make them get a tattoo of my name or my face” oh really swan? She has also made some sketchy statements about her sexuality saying that she wouldn’t be opposed to hooking up with a girl but that: “I have no question in my mind about being bisexual,” the 23 year old Transformers starlet tells Esquire Magazine. “But I’m also a hypocrite: I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I’d never want to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man.” Hm. Dear Megan Fox, fire and/or sue your current publicist and get a new one.  Esquire Magazine caught another typcal Fox gem when she made the statement that their is “no question in my mind about being bisexual. I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl. Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands.” Note to self Megan, Wilde has been happily married to documentary filmmaker Tao Ruspoli since 2003 (yes, he is a man), looks like that twosome is off the table…

Since the filming of Transformers 2began, Megan proved to be the loose lips sinking producer Michael Bay’s ship when she began running her mouth about how the special affects in the movie were more important than the acting, and that no one thinks serious acting when they think Transformers, well DUHHhhh… Megan, when asked what she would do to stop the evil decepticons from taking over the planet, made this bold statement: “… and instead of the entire planet, can you just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America?”. Megan, Megan, Megan, consistently going against the grain, especially regarding the standard rule of ‘don’t bite the hand that feeds’. Maybe if you weren’t so ungrateful, you would be starring in the likes of A Mighty Wind, or Changeling, instead of a cheerleader based zombie thriller in which you appear topless, just to insure that the flick has the potential to attract any viewers before it goes straight to DVD. In a recent E! interview Megan was caught babbling about her relationship with Shia Labeaouf, and rambled on incoherently about how she doesn’t have any friends, but that if she had to characterize their relationship it would be as “Best Friends”. A while back, Megan went on record claiming that “I know I’m seen as a sex object. I’m just really confident sexually and I think that sort of oozes out of my pores. It’s just there. It’s something I don’t have to turn on,” she says. “But I have no idea how to handle it. I don’t want to have to be like Scarlett Johansson -who I have nothing against-but I don’t want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every SAT word I’ve ever learned to prove, like, ‘Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.’ I don’t want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard-but I do. And part of it is my own fault.” Megan’s fans (other than those attracted to her big … brain …) can be described as nothing other than rubber – neckers waiting for the next calamitous verbal confessions. Maybe you should take a page out of Scarjo’s book – get married, and shut your luscious trap.

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Fear and Loathing in Tattooville

Tattoo’s have always fascinated me. The process itself has remained unchanged for over 200 years. In fact tattoos have been in circulation since Ötzi the Iceman, dating back to the 5th Milennia in which his remains were discovered in the Ötz valley in the Alps and had approximately 57 carbon tattoos consisting of simple dots and lines on his lower spine. Perhaps the most famous ancient tattoos are the Sak Yant or Yantra tattooing, sacred tattooing practiced in Southeast Asian countries including Cambodia and Thailand as a form of protective charm. There is an annual tattoo festival that takes place in Thailand once a year in April in which people from all over the world come to receive tattoos and blessings from thai monks, and to have previous tattoo’s re-blessed. Tattoos are no longer just for sailors, inmates, and other miscreants. It has truly become an art form to people from all walks of life, and has really become an inspiration for other realms of art and architecture such as this Andrew Maynard design for a family kitchen and living room. Another awesome inspiration are these wall decals that you kind find scattered all over etsy.com (a crafty cross between Amazon, eBay, and “your grandma’s basement”). I also tossed in a picture of my new favorite tattoo I saw this weekend in the Hamptons – Anchors Away Newsy…

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Fridays Musings

Hit:

Joes Jeans. The closest you can be to naked while wearing pants.

Omnipeace: A Los Angeles based fashion brand that aims to alleviate African debt and poverty by donating 25% of all its profits to efforts  to promote peace, education, human rights in Africa by 2025. This brand is endorsed by such celebs as Courtney Cox and husband David Arquette, pal Jeniffer Aniston, and Sheryl Crow. Not only do we all like imitating celebrities, but helping out a homie is Africa is just cool. Just like their t-shirts.

Old Hollywood Ink. Just as lap dances aren’t for people of all ages, neither are tattoos. But if you’re going to get one you better do it right. This tattoo of Megan Fox’s is one of my personal favorites. It’s black and white throw back aesthetics make it a true classic. Now I am not a big fan of colored tattoos because I fast forward ten hard years into the future and those bright reds aren’t going to look so vibrant anymore. But. I must admit that my favorite tattoo in the history of tattoos was a Morton Salt Girl tattoo. Here’s to you Marsmaker… So just remember that when getting a tattoo you can (almost) never go wrong with classics.

Miss:

Hot hot Zachary Quinto. You can arch your eyebrows at me any time you want, but please, don’t wear that hairy greek chest hair inducing man tank. Thanks.

L.A. Candy. Lauren Conrad we know that you or your stylist knows how to make a trendy braid, that uninspired jersey dresses were the bane of your so called career as a designer. But please don’t confuse your reality tv fame with true celebrity, the only way to trump the book would be to create your own doll. And trust me LC, the Olson Twins like soooo already have that market covered…

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